An air cylinder with a bore diameter of 100mm
Pneumatic solenoid control valves with aluminum air manifold
Quality high sensitivity low pressure one way valves (in and out)
A quality DC gearmotor 350 rpm minimum
A quality DC power supply / speed control
Custom remote with speed, power and air in/out control
Custom receiver with properly sized liner.
This Air cylinder is a SC100x400 which is far larger than needed. A SC100x50 would work and be less expensive.
These one way valves are designed to operate with only small amounts of air flow and pressure which allows for very accurate air flow in small increments with no leakage. The threaded ends allow air tight secure connections from the air valves and manifold to the cylinder to be maintained.
One of the key elements of this design is this drive disc with multiple threaded holes at different distances from center that allows for changing the stroke length of the air cylinder piston. Having a large diameter bore cylinder means that the stroke length can remain short while displacing the needed volume of air. It makes for a much more efficient and compact mechanism which is more quiet and smooth.
Keep in mind that this is a top off the line sex toy your making that will last for several years and provide you with countless hours of pleasure, so don't let the cost deter you.
This list is nearly complete. The Motor you select will have an impact on both the price and quality of the build. I suggest you find a used quality gear motor off ebay the one I used is a Bodine parallel shaft 500RPM. I found mine for around $100. You can use a less expensive motor such as the one shown in the DIY Venus 2.0, it will just be a bit louder. If you can find one that includes a speed control then you wont have top buy one.